Sorry Roger Goodell, Spongebob isn’t the Answer

Roger Goodell
Roger Goodell in West Point, N.Y. in 2012. PHOTO CREDIT: SSG Teddy Wade//U.S. Defense

Roger Goodell has made plenty of head scratching decisions as the NFL commissioner but the dumbest one has to be letting Nickelodeon telecast a wild card game. The whole situation just confuses me. Is the league going to cover the ball in slime? Will the winning team take on “Legends of the Hidden Temple’s” temple run for a guaranteed spot in the Super Bowl? I have so many questions that probably won’t be answered.

If this is a gimmick to attract younger fans, I think the league is doing it totally wrong. Young kids are watching the sport, just not in the traditional way. Streaming has become a huge thing for the younger generations. Most kids have phones that are connected to the internet while less have cable. So instead of watching the sport on the TV, kids are most likely illegally streaming the content so it’s not going to show up in the ratings. 

When I was a kid and the Jets weren’t playing on TV, I was scouring the internet for a viable stream and I always found one. It has gotten so easy to get a stream too. Just go to Crackstreams and you virtually have every live event at your fingertips. 

Kids are smart and know their way around the internet. Even if kids are watching games on TV, they sure as hell aren’t going to watch it on Nick just because they are adding googly eyes on replays. 

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The NFL shouldn’t worry about kids watching the game. Before the cough, I would see young kids rocking a Mahomes or Jackson jersey. They clearly are keeping up with the sport. 

Three out of four men are fans of the NFL. If you think those same men aren’t converting their kids to the trash teams they follow, you’re delusional! Even the millennial parents who are scared to let their kids play football are not deterring them from enjoying the sport. My parents didn’t let me play football for the longest time, but the sport still fascinated me. Kids will consume the things they like and the NFL does not have to come up with a gimmick to get them to watch. Spoiler alert Goodell, they’re already watching.       

If kids aren’t watching football, maybe the NFL should start advertising fantasy football to them. It’s a great way to get into the sport especially if you’ve never watched. It gives the kids an opportunity to see what the game is about while also adding a video game-like feel to the sport. Kids nowadays are competitive little shits. You can’t play search and destroy without a little kid calling you trash on the mic. Tap into that competitiveness and get these kids playing fantasy.

The only good to come out of this gimmick is if Goodell finally lets Spongebob perform his signature halftime performance in a game. I’ve been begging for the sponge for years. Enough of these trash halftime performances, bring Bob and the gang out and everyone will be happy. If I tune into this and don’t see “Sweet Victory” on my screen, I will riot. It has to be better than whatever that Kane Brown guy put out because that shit was trash. 



Failed fantasy football commish. Boomer truther. Voted 1 out of 2 best young studs at Best Buy, but then I got fired. Marvin Jones beat my ass at the Super Bowl (I have proof). Josh Norman would not beat my ass and I was disappointed. I also had better seats at the Super Bowl than Ben Shapiro. This is my biggest flex. Had a sit down meeting with Kirk Cousins and his camp about his recruitment to the New York Jets. I’m pretty sure he didn’t sign with the team because of me, but I still had a sit down meeting with Kirk Cousins and his camp ( I also have proof of this). I suffer each year watching Jets, Knicks and Mets games. Co-owner, Podcast Co-Host and somewhat of a Journalist. I feel like this bio is just one big flex but most of this stuff is lame,. Except for the Ben Shapiro one, that’s super not lame. ALL LUV EZZUS

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