Trash Fantasy Owners Need to Stop Sending Trash Trades

fantasy trade proposals rejected

We are at that point of the fantasy season where everyone is trying to make a trade. Managers are looking at their teams. Do they make a big move or stay put? 

The problem is people don’t know how to trade. I have gotten seven trade offers since Saturday and they have all been horrible. 

One trade discussion in particular sent me over the edge. At first, I was offered Julian Edelman for Ronald Jones and immediately rejected it. A few minutes later and I’m offered Edelmen for D’Andre Swift. Again, rejected immediately. 

I figured I was done with this wannabe day trader. But, I was wrong. I received a very interesting text message:

So just because I’m “fat in RBs,” I should give them away for nothing? That’s not how trades work, my guy. 

This trade escalated quickly because the third trade he sent me was truly wild. I would have been giving up Clyde Edwards-Helaire and Justin Jefferson for Juju and a “stud TE.” This turned out to be Dalton Schultz, who isn’t a stud.

This kid wanted me to give up a RB1 and WR2 for a WR 2 and a TE2. I can’t make this shit up. But I’m happy he got an offer for Juju because I don’t want him on my team. 

If these are your negotiating skills, you probably shouldn’t propose trade. You really convinced me to blow up my team for Juju and a backup tight end. I hope the sarcasm hit you in the face. 

Now if I was a moron, I might have done this trade. Unfortunately I’m like Rain Man, a sports genius. 

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I’m all about trading, and the enjoyment of harsh negotiation really gets me going. But what I won’t do is trade rape myself to benefit another team. 

If you come to me for a trade, I either win the trade or you don’t have a deal. If you need something that I have, I will get fair compensation for it. But, you’ll probably overpay. You don’t see real teams trading star players for scraps, so I won’t either. 

Let’s be clear here I’m not playing fantasy to let others win. I’m here to win. This is not some charity I do in my free time. 

If I’m stacked at running back and you’re not, it’s not my job to make sure you’re all set at the position. Maybe if you drafted better, you wouldn’t be in this situation. Stop trying to be some new age Robin Hood, stealing from the rich just to feed yourself.

I’m cutthroat when it comes to fantasy. I want to win and I’ll do anything to make that happen. When you come to me with a trade, and I know you’re hurting, I’m taking advantage. I’m like a thief in the night. I come when you least expect it and take everything you have.

Giving up players just to help another team is disrespectful to the game’s integrity. I’m sick of these trash ass players thinking I owe them something just because I have talent on my roster. Learn to play the game or don’t play at all. 

ALL LUV

EZZUS     

Failed fantasy football commish. Boomer truther. Voted 1 out of 2 best young studs at Best Buy, but then I got fired. Marvin Jones beat my ass at the Super Bowl (I have proof). Josh Norman would not beat my ass and I was disappointed. I also had better seats at the Super Bowl than Ben Shapiro. This is my biggest flex. Had a sit down meeting with Kirk Cousins and his camp about his recruitment to the New York Jets. I’m pretty sure he didn’t sign with the team because of me, but I still had a sit down meeting with Kirk Cousins and his camp ( I also have proof of this). I suffer each year watching Jets, Knicks and Mets games. Co-owner, Podcast Co-Host and somewhat of a Journalist. I feel like this bio is just one big flex but most of this stuff is lame,. Except for the Ben Shapiro one, that’s super not lame. ALL LUV EZZUS

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