UFC 252: Let’s all hope Daniel Cormier leaves the sport crying like the bitch he is

I have absolutely no respect or love for Daniel Cormier. He’s a fat fuck whose rise to prominence came on the back of continuously losing to Jon Jones. While Jones was in recovery, dealing with substance abuse and addiction, Cormier climbed the weak ranks of the light heavyweight division and won the belt. When the UFC suspended Jones for doping (there were picograms PICOGRAMS of banned substances in his supplements), Cormier did it once again. DC has taken a fat L every time he has fought Jonny Bones. 

Jones came back and proved that he didn’t need the coke and that his tainted supplements weren’t giving him any sort of an advantage. DC tucked tail and ran to heavyweight. It’s fair to assume that this chonky boi enjoys bulking up to heavyweight and not having to worry much about cutting weight. 

I will say one good thing about DC, and my hands are basically cramping as I type this, but Cormier has the capability to be a powerful striker. If you let him set you up, you are going to fall down.

However, for an Olympic wrestler, DC is woefully inept. He has one move that has translated to the UFC. That’d be his single leg takedown. If he gets a clean entry, Cormier holds on to his opponents’ thigh like Rose to the Titanic door. The thing is, when he goes for these takedowns, he ducks his head and leaves himself exposed to knees and elbows. After all, there is a significant reason he doesn’t try these takedowns much against Jones, who has been known for having lethal elbows and knees since early in his career.

Alright this isn’t a Jones vs. DC fight, let’s talk about his opponent Stipe Miocic. He’s an absolute animal. He’s lost three fights in his professional career and won the other 19. 16 of those wins are from KOs and TKOs. The man’s fists are made of pure fury. 

Miocic’s last four wins are over Daniel Cormier, Francis Ngannou, Junior Dos Santos and Alistair Overeem. Each of these men are behemoths in the heavyweight division, DC just because he’s fat. Miocic’s 6-inch height and 7-inch reach advantage over Cormier should be his greatest advantage. If he can manage to keep DC in his striking range and stay out of his opponent’s, Miocic will win this fight running away. Miocic has years of fight left in him, whereas Cormier is four years his senior.

All told, this is Miocic’s fight to lose. He beat Cormier in their last bout and DC is notoriously shitty in rematches. It’s time to put this sniveling bitch to bed. Let him coach and commentate, although I can’t stand his voice. But let’s get this bum out of the octagon. 

The only good thing about there being no fans in the arena Saturday night is that we’ll all get to hear that fat fuck sob his eyes out when he loses. And DC, if you’re reading this, just retire already. Nobody wants you in the league anymore.

 Oh, for the rest of the fights, Sean O’Malley is crazy but he’s hilarious and an awesome up and comer. The rest of the card is a take it or leave it event. 

Syracuse’s preeminent parody politician. There are 44 reasons to love me, and all of them start with Syracuse and end with Orange. I write about the UFC, SU sports, and anything that seems appropriate to bitch about. If you try telling me Baseball is a sport worth watching, I might send the FBI to your place at midnight.

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