Why Does Washington Hate Women?

2020 hasn’t been too kind to Washington, whether it’s in the White House or on the football field. At this point I kind of feel bad for the football team, if you can even call it that. It clearly has an identity problem, which is pretty evident by its atrocious attempt at picking a name. I mean, come on, out of all the choices you decided on a placeholder, and a pretty lousy one at that. I’m sure that will help you win your first playoff game in nearly 30 years. 

I thought for sure this “team” couldn’t get any worse until its somewhat promising running back Derrius Guice decided to spend his quarantine to allegedly beat women.

Why does the Washington football organization hate women so much? First executives get exposed as alleged serial sexual assaulters and now Guice might casually beat up women. Couldn’t he have picked up a hobby like the rest of us? I mean, Pornhub was giving away free memberships. You could have spent your time beating something else, but I digress.

Guice showed promise the few times his body actually allowed him to play. Coming out of LSU, I thought for sure the football team finally got a stud running back to finally catapult it into relevancy. I thought the same thing about RG3. George W. Bush, a genius in his own right said it best “fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” Unfortunately Washington fooled itself again believing Guice was the future. 

Put Guice down on the list of what ifs, someone with the talent to succeed in this league, but injuries and off field issues whose career was too short. I applaud the front office for cutting ties so quickly and not allowing this man to get another chance to ruin my fantasy season. Two seasons and all Guice seems to have done is catch more felony charges than passes out of the backfield. I wish I could say it was nice knowing you, but my mother taught me to never tell a lie. 

Look at it this way Washington fans, if you ever need a source of entertainment you don’t have to look too far away, just turn on Fox News. 

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